Different
kinds of culture are everywhere. I’m not just talking about the differences in
that of ethnic background, such as skin color and language, but rather that of
the unique cultures that can be found in individual families.
As
a college student, I’ve been blessed to have had many roommates that all have
unique backgrounds. Some, are similar to mine and others are quite different. From
the way that one loads the dishwasher, to what one deems appropriate in social
situations, there are marked differences of opinion. I believe that I can safely
say that everyone has experienced these kinds of differences. Whether in a new marriage,
a friendship, the office, or a roommate, we’ve all had slight clashes where our
individual cultures didn’t quite align.
For
example, I’m from a really humid climate. In order to prevent shower mildew, it
was always understood that you leave the shower curtain fully closed so that it
could dry out or risk mildew growing in its folds. One of my roommates is from a
much drier climate, where that isn’t really a concern and always leaves the
curtain open. Because of this, I often find myself closing the curtain, only to
find it open again. Likewise, she always finds it closed, and opens it. Thankfully,
the matter of whether a shower curtain is closed or open, isn’t a big deal to either
of us. It’s just what we do because it’s part of the culture we grew up with in
our individual families.
Differences
in culture can be as simple as my example or as complex as how the family
functions as a whole. In class this week as we studied family culture, we looked
over what aspects of life play a role in determining culture. Some of which are
location, income, education, associates/friendships, occupation, family name, appearance,
manners, and lifestyle.
We
all tend to make snap judgments when we first meet someone. (There’s a reason
it’s called a first impression.) In a sense we use this thirty second snapshot to
determine who that person is. i.e. what class and culture they’re from, and how
they connect to our own. Without really knowing the person, we’ve already
decided whether we want to pursue a friendship with them.
It’s
kinda silly when you think about it, but we all do it.
This
isn’t to say that you should only stay within cultures that are similar to your
own. In fact, I think that would be really sad. There is so much beauty in
life. To never look outside of yourself is to lose the opportunity for
something even greater than that which you had. We should respect the family
culture, but also be mindful of things that can and should be changed in order
for it to become better.
True
change is never comfortable. During my mission for my church, my mission
president would always say that “There is no comfort in the growing zone, and
no growing the comfort zone.” In the family, when change occurs, be it due to a
marriage, birth, death or any other reason, we find that there is a necessary
change. During this change, relationships, between members must find a new
balance, where everyone’s needs can be met. This change isn’t often comfortable,
and may even cause stress.
Yet,
as we individually strive to respect and love our fellow men, we can all become
the better for it. Diversity in family cultures is a beautiful thing. As a
professor of mine recently said, “It’s easier to see differences than
similarities.” When cultures seemingly collide, I hope that we can all take the
harder path and search for what we have in common; hope for a brighter tomorrow.