Over
this last week we discussed marriage and the transition into it from dating. A
favorite quote of mine is, “If your fail to plan, you plan to fail” Marriage is
much like anything else in life. If you really want to succeed, then it
requires careful planning and preparation. What is necessary for a good marriage?
Or even a good relationship?
In
class this week my professor likened in unto a house. A home requires meticulous
planning and follows a set of blueprints. Without these blueprints, the house would
not be built correctly and would have many issues. The foundation is especially
important and for my blog this week I’d like to focus on the foundation of marriage.
I
myself am single, so I can not speak from personal experience. However, I’ve
had a lot of wonderful examples in my life that I hope to someday emulate.
The
four main points discussed in class this week are as follows:
1.
Communication
2.
Planning
3.
Boundaries and Discussion
4.
Learning to make decisions together and solve problems.
Starting
from the first, communication is key in any relationship. Either with
roommates, family, friends, and those that we date. As marriage is joining two
lives together into one, this can be very tricky without clear communication with
the other person. Something to bear in mind is that because both partners come
from different family cultures, their opinions and beliefs are going to be
different. If there is clear and open communication between the two, this
prevents misunderstandings that would potentially seriously damage the relationship.
Planning.
I seriously love planning. Perhaps I’m a little OCD or something, but I really
dislike going into anything blind. I do enjoy adventure and spontaneity, but
not for anything that I think is serious or could lead to harm. Marriages should
be cherished and valued. If your and your spouse plan your life together and
regularly review those plans, then it’s easier to be on the same page, working
towards the same goal.
Boundaries
and Discussion. Just because you love each other dearly doesn’t mean that you
have the same ideals towards what is and isn’t appropriate. Discussing what boundaries,
you will implement in your relationship can prevent against a lot of heartache.
No one wants to get married and find out that their spouse wants the mother-in-law
to move it. Just like with a home that
is well looked after, good fences make good neighbors.
Learning
to make decisions together and solve problems. As a very independent person, I
have a very hard time allowing anyone to help. When you get married, it’s with
the understanding that you are making two separate lives into one. The decisions
one person makes drastically affects the other. This is why learning to solve problems
and make decisions together plays a key role in transitioning into marriage.
I’ll
close with one of my favorite quotes from class this week.
“If
you don’t take clear steps, people tend to slide apart because they slid
together.”
Keep dating once you’re married. I cannot begin to number the times that I’ve heard someone say that they’re excited to get married so that they no longer have to try. This is incredibly sad to me. One ought to never stop trying. Your spouse should be one of your highest priorities and made to feel that way. Keep dating. Keep putting forth an effort. Sure, life happens, but I loved that the principles taught in class back up the idea of continual progression in relationships. Marriage is two friends making life work and enjoying the journey together
Keep dating once you’re married. I cannot begin to number the times that I’ve heard someone say that they’re excited to get married so that they no longer have to try. This is incredibly sad to me. One ought to never stop trying. Your spouse should be one of your highest priorities and made to feel that way. Keep dating. Keep putting forth an effort. Sure, life happens, but I loved that the principles taught in class back up the idea of continual progression in relationships. Marriage is two friends making life work and enjoying the journey together